There as a lot that I wasn't prepared for today. The first was waking up to a thick covering of smoke in Heppner after a particularly cold night. The sun was barely shining it was so thick. I knew the winds would shift, but what I didn't realize is that this would bring in thick thick smoke.
The riders from Portland that I met last night were debating riding at all (and seeing as they never made it to tiny Ukiah is seems clear they thought better of it.) I, figuring it would be an easy 45 mile day, did ride. How bad could it be?
A side note: As I write this the tiny bar I'm in in Ukiah (pop can't be more than 100 or so) is filled with different fire fighting crews. It's a pretty amazing thing to witness. They are pretty fun, and the bar staff is having a hoot with them. It's like witnessing soldiers on leave from a long war. A war that, if this smoke is anything to judge by, they are stalemated in, if not losing.
My Aunt Nancy told me of a wildfire in the Sierra Nevadas that burned so hot that it smoldered under the snow all winter, and leaped back into full force when the snow melted the next spring.
The other thing I didn't realize today was the I had a 25 mile, 3,000 foot climb to start my day. In fact I climbed almost the entire 45 miles. I hadn't realized the scale on the elevation map.
It was a hard day. The climb was similar to McKenzie pass (long and steep), the scenery was mostly blocked by smoke, and my lungs and eyes burned. Then the worst thing happened. Worse than flats, headwinds, heat, or even buzzing traffic. The poisonous air gave way to poisonous thoughts. I started thinking about quitting.
The worst of it was the 10 miles between 5 and 15. I started making plans for when I got to Ukiah - if I got to Ukiah - about how I might need to quit. Would I take a rest day and see how the wind changed? Would I take a ride home? Would I ride on? All these are good questions, but you CAN'T have them while riding. When you think about quitting your body quits. The hill got steeper. The scenery got bleaker. My legs got weaker. The smoke got burnier. I started considering hitchhiking. I though "no-one should ever ride in this, what's the point? No scenery and pain."
Thing is, it wasn't that bad. The temperature was cool. The wind not too bad (most of the time). The scenery was neat - what of it I could see. I even saw two other bikers, heading the other way, although they didn't seem much happier than me.
I had to make a new rule. No thinking about quitting while riding, even if quitting is the smart thing to do. It's poison of the worst kind. I put some caffeinated Mio into my water bottle knowing that would lift my spirits and I doubled down my thought control. I had to finish the day, there simply wasn't enough traffic on that road to hitch, and if I did hitch my mental game would never recover. I would remember quitting every time my ride got hard for the rest of my life - and not just while riding - while working, teaching, loving. You can't quit when things get hard. Not once. Never. I could not allow it.
You always get to town on your own unless it's impossible, not just because life becomes uncomfortable or not very much fun.
I convinced myself that I would be riding on tomorrow because the air would clear and that I should just expect it. I refused to let any sort of planning enter into my brain for the rest of the ride beyond "you will keep going and it will be fine." Those are thoughts for town, not for the road.
It was still a very hard ride, possibly harder than my 88ish mile, 7,000 foot climbing day yesterday. But I finished, even with an extra 5 miles due to a wrong turn.
I got to Ukiah around 3:30 and have been hanging out. I got permission to stay in the park from the mayor who runs the liquor store. I glued my Ukulele at a store / pool hall / whatever and listened to some locals talk shit on fire fighters (WTF?) I ate lunch and dinner in a bar/diner mooching their internet, and now am in the company of the earlier mentioned firefighters. I even read about the death of Smaug and the Battle of Five Armies. Apt, considering the town I'm in looks like something out of Silent Hill due to the smoke covering it.
My plan is to either take a rest day tomorrow or ride to Monument. I'm no-longer doing Austin Junction and John Day. Even if the greater smoke clears, John Day is too chaotic with the huge fire there now. There is no wind that will keep that area clear, because it is completely surrounded by fires. Most likely I will rest tomorrow. Some fire fighters just told me the smoke will be even worse.
However, this area should be cleared out Monday at noon, so if I take a rest day tomorrow (my legs can use it) I can ride to Monument on Monday (50 easy miles), then Mitchel, Redmond, Mckenzie Bridge, and then home. I'd love to do the extra more scenic day, but I don't think it'll be clear enough, and just because I can survive riding on smoke doesn't mean it's fun. I live in Oregon. I'd ride it next summer maybe.
Bottom line: I'm here to see beauty, and I can't see shit with all this smoke. You can't choose your heat, your winds, or your smoke. You just have to adapt, either your route, your timing, or your standards. To get home I'll have to adapt all three, but I knew that coming here. I knew this area was on fire. This is fine. I crave novelty, and this this hella new to me.
